The big 3-0 really scares me initially. I’ve been avoiding, thinking that the day would not come, and when it did eventually, I had nothing else to say or to feel.
I supposed my non-confrontational nature or perhaps, only the close ones would realize how prepared or ill-prepared I was in turning 30.
I asked my friends on how they feel about themselves being in the 30s bracket. I am grateful that I have lots of support and each gave me a courageous view on how turning 30 is transformational from being self-doubt to bursting with self-confidence.
They also shared, how they felt about their physical state, where they all agree, they felt sexier. Wow, I didn’t expect that!
I always thought that turning 30 means slowing down in your metabolic rate, which translate to having to curb your appetite for much food as you can easily put on weight from that day onwards. Besides weight, your energy level will drastically drop to a point of no return. From then on, you will just give up and let yourself go as 30 supposed to mark the stage where vanity matters secondarily. Well, I didn’t realize that I was stuck with such thought of the previous generation!
Turning 30 in today’s context is really, literally, turning 20 again (like what my bestie said). The only difference is that, you’re more capable, financially and socially to achieve or to do what you want to do.
As a female, I suppose turning 30 marks the age where you feel more liberated and the old adage of “no more market value” should not apply anymore. It should be, I know what I want better now, than I knew 10 years ago, hence I will tread carefully in search for it. If the numerical indication still matters, it is only needed as a timeline, a motivation and a reminder. That’s it.
After being 30 for about two weeks now, I finally come in to terms with what I really feel about it. In the midst of all this entangled and contrasting musing, I come to conclusion that we live, in search to stop searching. My mantra now is to continue questioning about life, about my thoughts and my feelings until I have all the answers.
The purpose in life is to search to stop searching.
