Nanjing of Jiangsu Province

I was in Nanjing yesterday but I didn’t manage to do much which resulted in my solemn mood today. I was really anticipating for this trip to come and I even updated my Tripadvisor World Map on Facebook beforehand, a big deal for me. I would love to see the Memorium of the reported 300,000 Nanjing Massacre victims mainly and of course, the City Wall and Yangtze River would be lovely bonuses.

I arrived in Nanjing, where it had the best weather ever! It was perfect at 8 degrees Celsius and you can practically walk out in the street with just a fleece jacket. I travel light this time around and since, nothing is on my shopping list (well, it’s quite common for me), sight-seeing is primarily my agenda.

My first day there was practically orientating myself to the city, which seems less bustling, less polluted but still as crowded as the rest of the Chinese cities. I love the occasional surprises of finding some Japanese-inspired food outlets, Japanese-originated entertainment; the karaoke and electronic gadgets which I think are inevitable in the world today. We already have a very short-term memory, anyway.

My colleagues and I, as usual, would prefer a really good dinner to celebrate such a rare catch to be able to be here, in Nanjing. Our 8-10 course dinner only costs us RMB 40 each and it came with their local beer and wine known as “Daughter’s Red” literally. I took a shot and really loved it! The dinner consisted of Peking Duck, some fatty pork dish, hot-plated beef, local vegetable fried with garlic, celery and steamed salted-egg taufu dish, just to name a few. The highlight was the dumplings which we all finished the 1kg worth of vegetarian dumplings. What we found quite interesting was that, they served dishes first and the rice almost towards the end. Our speculation was that, only the peasants eat mainly rice with dishes and the rich ones, the contrary.

The very-anticipated next day finally came. To my disappointment, it rained since the day begun. Initially I thought that the weather would not deter my plans but it was indeed very cold in Nanjing when it rains. Because of the bleak day, my colleagues and I had to settle with just a visit to the Confucius Temple area instead. The funny thing was, despite being in the area, we couldn’t locate the famous temple, and instead we landed in the building where the once Imperial Examination was held.

We walked everywhere under the rain and our umbrellas proved to be redundant sometimes as the area was quite crowded with people. We just don’t want to risk hitting people with our umbrellas due to our height. At last, we spent the rest of the evening at Haagen-Dazs ice-cream parlour for some hot chocolate and a good chat. Our hot chocolate costs as much as our dinner the night before.

My disappointment in failing to visit the Memorial proved to be a blessing in disguise, trying to comfort myself. I would have gone into depression if I came to visit such a place that was daunted by so many gruesome murders. A colleague asked me, why visit such a place that bears hatred and is practically a graveyard of a mass killing? I couldn’t answer that. Perhaps, deep inside me, I have a sense of curiosity of wanting to know what exactly had happened. Perhaps, most people do. Don’t we all have the motivation to know something that had left a significant mark in human history?

2nd Weekend in NY

Another weekend in NYC was spent rather recently. Once again, my wish was granted. This time around, I wasn’t lucky enough to patronise another weekend market but I managed to witness something quite rare.

I was there when it was the Academy Awards weekend. Although it was happening in Hollywood, the strong presence of such an event was felt in the eastern side too. Well, felt in the rest of the world too actually, I almost forgot.

When I took a stroll in Time Square, I was privileged enough to witness an exhibition of Oscar, the very well-known statuette that signifies the best performance to the beholder in the pre, post and most importantly during the production of what we call, movies. I remember, walking in to this loosely guarded venue (one of the shop lots, next to Swatch) and found out that it was the last day of the exhibition.

There were about 5 items on display. Firstly, a giant Oscar, about 8 feet in height. Then there was this process of coating the statue with copper, gold etc. There was also a display of tens of Oscar statuettes that were so sparkly in gold. I think the best was the red carpet that leads to the podium where one could have an opportunity to hold a real Oscar with their picture taken. Plus, with the backdrop of what we use to see on E! Entertainment when they show the celebrities posing for premieres and many other “important” events (pun intended).

Everyone seems to be very eager to do that, a chance of a life-time to feel like a real Oscar-winning celebrity. One quite elderly Chinese lady made an impression. She has a comical face and when she grabbed the Oscar and place it near her face, wanting to kiss it, she accidentally blurted “ gee, didn’t know this thing is so damn heavy” in Cantonese. I burst out laughing in my heart! She smiled broadly, her eyes almost disappeared and her friend snapped a photo of her, both quite ignorant about the surrounding people laughing at how funny she had been on that podium. Ignorance is truly bliss sometimes.

I also took a stroll in Central Park where it was in white. The snow was not melting at all at 4 degrees Celsius. I also walked to Apple on 5th Avenue and played with the various species of iPod to make some sense of out technology.

Lastly, I took one of the photos above as I am ever-eager to get Carried away…yes, that’s the tagline of my favourite Sex and The City, soon to be on the big screen!

Something Lighter

If my previous posting proved to be a little provocative, please, I beg your pardon. I wrote that when I was awake at 2.30am and couldn’t wait till the morning to record the feelings I felt and the thoughts running through my head after a heavy read on Revolutionary Wealth by Alvin and Heidi Toffler.

Something lighter here, I promise… It happened around a fortnight ago. I was surprised by a promising-looking birthday cake from my lovely buddy. It says, “Happy Birthday Babe!” a lingo commonly used among us. I closed my eyes, blew the candles and forgot what I supposed to wish for. I think I didn’t manage to make a wish as my mind was just not in the wishing mode. Maybe I am contented already and glad to let fate to take over sometimes.

I also remember having to spend an extra six hours on my birthday due to the time difference in Johannesburg. I arrived there in the morning and rested till it was time for an early dinner. I craved for seafood and headed to Ocean Basket for a Seafood Platter for one. Yes, it was for one as I wasn’t in the mood for any company at that time. I had the usual, semi-sweet wine, a Sauvignon Blanc if I could remember correctly. I savoured my food and read Off The Edge. What a perfect evening for me!

Nowadays, celebrating birthday is not as gung-ho as before when we were younger. The key numeric codes of 1, 10, 16 and 21 that represent major ages of human lives seem to just remain as the only legitimate reason to celebrate. Other ages are simply to celebrate without any significant reason except the occasional wanting to have a party. After all, we human won’t deny ourselves some celebrations anyway and birthday tends to be the best excuse.

Once we passed 25 years of age, it makes celebrating birthdays like a reminder of how OLD we have actually become. I certainly don’t want to think about it and would be happy to continue to lay low on these days… oh yeah, I would like to thank my loved ones for their ever-thougtful cards and pressies for me!

p.s : I especially love all your messages and wishes in writing, text messages and cards.

Scary World, Scary Values

I always have this thought in my head, how will the many generations to come, know about this period of time that I’m living in? Wouldn’t it be so cool if they, in the very future in time, able to have some piece of information that can be part of their missing puzzle in figuring out what have made 21st century, a 21st century through the eyes of me? I know this sounds very narcissist and who cares about me when there’s so many millions out there who are probably doing the same thing, heck more dependable than my pretentious sociological account.

Well, maybe what I’m trying to prove here is that, in this time of my life, media has empowered us, ordinary human beings so much that made us seems relevant, given us identity and treat us as individuals without the de-personalisation of the mass industrial era. Welcome to the Third Wave as the Tofflers said.

Well, in my very own worldview now, it seems to me that, in this period of time, it is harder to be good than bad. Good and bad in their very own plain definitions and not, divulging into philosophical debate of the degree of goodness and badness. I believe that, we’re living in the century where the good old values of hardwork, loyalty, righteousness, honesty and kindness are being replaced by current imperatives of money, ego, pride, luxury, heighten pleasures, smartness, aggressiveness, stress, instant gratification etc. All these post-modern “values” I believe are derived from the very fact that the circumstances of practicing the good old values are constantly disappearing and what makes more sense today is how much we have accomplished in material sense or in egoistical sense than in giving back to humanity.

Modern technology has progressed so much that we no longer need to plough in manual labour but gradually replaced by the brain power. Rational and analytical thinking has dominated so much of human mind that make it even harder to give kindness as we often think of the various consequences first before helping. Whereas, what constitute helping should be, giving without expecting at the first place. It is harder to appreciate the basic humanity that exists in the origin of us, human being and using our emotions sometimes. We are getting more intelligent each day in every way but not very much in the way that benefits humanity sometimes.

What has gone wrong? Is it because of technology has made it so easy for us that instead of spending time sweating out over something that, it can now be done with just a push of a button or a click? Is it because that we rely so much on technology that we no longer need to put in effort and as the old saying goes, we won’t treasure what we can easily acquire? Maybe it's also because of money or our ability to acquire wealth today.

I live in the world today that I witness the planet is getting so wear-out that we are still not doing enough to minimise or even to reverse the effect. Well, I have little faith that this generation of mine can ever accomplish such miracle feat. I often wonder, if we can put our brain power to certain technological breakthroughs, why can’t we be committed in protecting more of our debilitating environment? Maybe some good works are working-in-progress and I sincerely hope the wait will soon be over.

I am also living in the era where I can no longer make sense out of the younger generation, whatever they’re known as. I don’t seem to “get it” and I believe the sentiment is vice versa. The iPod and PSP-carrying individuals seems to be so attached to their virtual world and second life that what is real to them is so different from mine. I can never be as techno-savvy, as I treasure too many things in concrete format.

Infidelity is also another plaque. I know it is as common as forever, I mean, what is wrong with the world when it glorifies it? It has made being monogamous as being almost a freak. It could be that infidelity has existed since the beginning of human race but because human beings ( I mean, women here) are getting smarter, they too maybe are beginning to accept the various theories of men infidelity and heck, they are catching up now too.

It is so scary to think of the world like me.

CNY Eve in Manchester

Having spent my Chinese New Year’s Eve in a foreign country and in a country of not Chinese in origin, like UK, has proven not bad at all. I was in Manchester and was lucky enough to savour the important day with the nicest people in my profession. A colleague thoughtfully brought “yee sang” an auspicious dish of shred carrots, radish, pickles, raw fish (like the dish’s name), crackers and other ingredients that bear the auspicious meaning of the dish. We tossed it as high as possible and shouting merrily of our wishes for the coming Rodent year.

Then we proceeded to have a “reunion” lunch whereas, if we were at home it would be a “reunion” dinner instead. Why lunch? It is mostly due to the adjustment that had to be made in our profession.

Before we reached the Chinese restaurant of our choice, we diverted to a traditional English pub named Shakespeare. My supervisor was kind enough to buy us drinks. She bought me my first stout and I was as convinced how good the taste of the fresh stout is as she described. We chatted a little and began to open up. Everyone gradually loosen up to the effect of the alcohol but one guy felt the sedative effect of it. I felt guilty for telling him that we should gulp it instead of sipping when he complained about the bitter taste. I remember a beer connoisseur once told me that we should sip wine but gulp beer in Istanbul. I supposed stout falls into the beer category.

We continued to have real fun over lunch. What a coincidence that the waiter is from Penang, another fellow Malaysian adding to this group of mainly a Malaysian contingent. There is something unmistakeable about meeting your own fellow countryman/woman. We cheers over Chinese tea and parted when it was time to.

I left with a sense of missing the real thing at home but nonetheless, this was no worse substitute.

Swan Bells

Rather recently, I was in Perth, the place where much of my happy memories belong. I took a walk towards the Swan Bells with the company of some colleagues. I pretended to be happy and enjoying their company but I could not help but to feel sad at the same time. Swan Bells was where I last saw my Dad and where I could not fulfil my promise of seeing him in KL.

I told my sobbing story to my colleagues and one of them actually took it with a sly smile on her face. I was disgusted and offended at the same time and my mind went on wondering what kind of person she is. Isn’t it rude to laugh at others’ misfortune? Well, then again, it’s no surprise to me. In this world, there are many kinds of people. She just happened to be not one of my kinds.

Then again, I realised that, it takes another person to understand another person’s feeling if they have both gone through similar experiences. Being empathy is not a gift but a cultivated feeling drawn from enriching experiences. I must say, I am lucky enough and thankful to all my experiences in life that have made me to have this advantage. I continue to wish for people to be kinder. It is really sickening to see that a pure kind act today can be misinterpreted and out of the norm.

Belief System

I finally made the blunder. I have always vowed to keep 1,3 or 6 postings a month but on Jan 2008, I managed 5. An another odd number that I have to deal with. Really, like a friend had said, with a blink of an eye, we are already in the second month of the year. And it’s too late to put back the figure 6 to January...

One thing that I must mention that happened towards the end of January is this. Like most Chinese believe, the soul of someone passed away will be brought back in the form of a butterfly. I remember that, as my Mum told me that when I was very young. Well, I remember most of what my Mum had told me although I only had the luxury of spending 10 years of my life with her.

This faithful incident happened in the morning when I woke up and wanted to bring my laptop to the living room. Then I saw a big gigantic butterfly, brown in colour in the balcony. It stood there for a very long time and my instinct told me that, it could be Dad. The butterfly looked very calm but the occasional breeze made its wings cluttered like it was about to fly away.

I continued surfing, enjoying the company of the butterfly. I did not manage to record this at that time but I called Bro and he advised me to take a picture of it and show it to him. Or he suggested I should write something about it and post it to this humble blog.

As much as I want to believe the belief of the spiritual realm, I did not rule out the possibility of a mere coincidence which might have a scientific reason behind. This is my rational mind at work but I continued to question myself. Am I happy with my speculation that due to some scientific explanation that a butterfly could be found hanging out in my balcony? Should I stick to what Mum had told me?

I continued to reflect on this and why am I in the position to contemplate on my choices of belief. Well, I must say, it may be due to the generation that I belong to. I still had the luxury of spending time with a stay-at-home Mum when I was young and most of her teachings had significantly formed the very foundation of my belief system at that time. Then, when I went to school, I met my friends who shared similar backgrounds and we exchanged stories of what we had learned from our Mums. We felt that, the stories made sense and we were often amazed and reinforced by the workings of the mystical.

Then, as we continue to further our education, we were exposed to many schools of thought but I must say, they were mostly suited for the Western context. We began to get confused a little and questioned our belief system. I struggled with that confusion for quite sometime that I almost hated my Asian identity and wanted to fully embrace the Western culture and belief system.

But I was lucky enough to learn from the very people who are so enlightened and they taught me how to appreciate who I am and how my critical encounters ( from my upbringing and experiences ) affected who I am today. They taught me how to view them ( the critical incidents) critically and objectively before applying them as learning points in life. They have taught me my very way of making decisions and understanding that there is no one belief system that is more superior to the other but we must be able to justify why we made certain choices. And of course, the choices must not be detrimental to others.

From this approach, I have learnt that, I should not discard my origin but to appreciate how it has affected me today. I know that if I would want to have a satisfying answer to my question, I can do so but more often than not, it would require some scientific methods of research.

As for now, I think I am more than comfortable in choosing that it was my Dad who came to see me. It is his journey before letting all his attachments to this material world go, so he can finally rest in peace. I know that I am about to make another blunder by choosing that explanation before putting my academic training to good use, to prove or disprove the above statement.

Like many philosophers since the beginning of civilisation, they have questioned “what is the truth?” and the debate still goes on as “the truth” can be what majority think it is “the truth” or “the truth” can be whatever that is proven scientifically and has not been disproved yet. I must say, “the truth” to my above statement is based upon the result of my cultural bearings. It might appear to be wishy-washy as it lacks scientific explanation but somehow it made sense to me and based upon my belief system. Isn’t science another form of belief system?

“There are so much unknown in this world that only human arrogance would defy that” – Stephanie Lim